You’ve returned to CBS as a guest speaker and as a mentor. What motivates you to stay involved with students and the School?
I consider my two years at Columbia to be one of the best periods of my life. I loved interacting with other students and faculty, made close life-long friends, felt intellectually challenged, and learned a lot. I picked up some of the most useful life lessons from guest speakers who gave talks at the school or in specific classes. One of my former professors became a friend and lifelong mentor who impacted some of my most important career decisions.
As I approached my 50th birthday, which I considered a “half-time” life milestone, I decided that I wanted to give back to the school. I also felt that I had learned enough lessons in life and business, particularly in “family business”, to be able to have an impact. So I got involved with the Global Family Enterprise Program and it’s been tremendously rewarding.
You recently began mentoring students in the program. What inspired you to take on that role, and what do you hope to offer as a mentor?
Early in my post-MBA career, I was given a tip to get an “accountability buddy” with whom I can talk out my problems, get perspective, and make commitments so that they can hold my feet to the fire. I did this in different forms throughout the years: via a CEO group that I was a member of, with an executive coach, and with a close friend (from CBS, of course!). This has been tremendously valuable. I felt that I can create similar value by mentoring students.
I want to offer students what is sometimes referred to as “active listening”: asking questions, helping students formulate their challenges in their own words, and think through potential ways of solving them. I also want to offer an outside perspective, share some relevant experiences, brainstorm, help the students commit to taking action, and hold them accountable if they see value in this.
Is there a moment from speaking in class that stands out to you — something that captured the energy of this next generation?
Before I gave my talk, I sought advice of my former CBS professor. He said “Dan, talk as little as possible about yourself”. In the spirit of following this advice, I briskly ran through my personal story by sharing quotes of people whose advice influenced my various career decisions. As I began to transition to the case study that was the main focus of my talk, a bunch of hands suddenly went up. The unplanned and lengthy Q&A that followed reminded me that one of the primary goals of an MBA education is to help students become better decision makers. I believe the students understood this instinctively, and their follow‑up questions showed genuine curiosity about why I made those decisions, where they led me, and how I now view the outcome.
You’re not just part of the business — you married into it. What has that experience been like?
When you join your own family business, you typically don’t have to grapple with differences in culture, behavior standards, and values, since they are already established at the level of the family. As an in-law, you are coming in without that shared foundation. In my case, this was particularly pronounced because my father-in-law immigrated from Japan in his 30’s while I immigrated from Russia in my early teens. So on top of the unavoidable generation gap and the typical challenges of succession, we had significant cultural differences as well. The combination of these factors made the business relationship very challenging and at several time points, I came close to leaving the business. However, in spite of the tribulations, we made it work for 20 years. I believe that what made it possible is that my father-in-law and I both placed a lot of value on maintaining our strong relationship as a family. We also both have genuine passion for the business. Therefore, there was a sense that we just have to make it work for the sake of the family and the business. My mother-in-law and our fantastic family business advisor also helped significantly to ride out the storms.
What helped you find your footing or voice as an in-law in a legacy enterprise?
When you own a P&L, it becomes very clear if you are delivering or not. There can be a lot of noise about a variety of issues, but at the end of the day, you can just point to your numbers. That gives you credibility and leverage. Even as a family member, you are an employee so the family and/or the Board ask the same questions as an employer would. Are you an asset to the business? What happens if you leave? Should the company stretch to retain you? Of course, this alone is not enough. The final decision-maker (be it the majority shareholder or the Board) has to care about these questions and approach them rationally, while in many family businesses, emotions can take over. I’ve been fortunate that my father-in-law was very level-headed even when things got tough.
What advice would you offer to students or young alumni preparing to work with — or marry into — a family business?
Know what you are getting yourself into! You need to come in with clear expectations about the challenges that mixing business and family typically present. Know that it will not be easy and be clear about the trade-offs: family businesses offer significant advantages in terms of leadership opportunities and other factors, but they come with emotional costs and risks for your family relationships. By recognizing this, you can also be proactive about managing your career in a family business. Clearly define roles and responsibilities, capture all agreements in writing, insist on engaging a family coach who can step in at times of conflict, utilize your Board, and agree on what the off-ramp would look like if things don’t work out. In addition, work on managing your own emotions, resist firing back even when you feel provoked, and take the higher ground whenever possible.
What’s one mindset or habit that has helped you thrive in this space — professionally or personally.
On the advice of a mentor early in my career, I adopted the principle of “family before business” and was able to effectively partition the two in my head. My father-in-law shared this mindset which was crucial. Therefore, even when things got tense in the business, we would still break bread as a family, spend Thanksgiving together, and go on our annual family vacation. Not letting conflicts in the business interfere with family relations is challenging but I believe that it is one of the most important challenges to overcome so as to ensure the success of the family and the business.