Women's Circle

Renu Lala Vitale

CWC Board Member and Executive Coach, Renu Vitale, fields your burning career questions. Renu is a member of the CBS Sanford C. Bernstein and Co. Center for Leadership & Ethics coaching program, and has been helping clients develop winning strategies and make better decisions for over 20 years. To submit your career question for consideration, email Renu at [email protected]. Please include Coach's Corner in the subject line.

Question: I keep hearing I need to "cross-collaborate" more to get to the next level. I already share my work and loop people in—but I hate playing politics. What does this feedback really mean, and what can I actually do about it?

From,
Stuck in a Loop

Response: Dear Stuck in a Loop,

I hear this a lot: people feeling unfairly stalled in their careers because so-called "soft skills"—especially cross-collaboration—seem to carry more weight than the quality of their actual work.

When I ask what cross-collaboration means to them, I usually get a wide range of answers:

• Broadening my network
• Playing the political game
• Getting people on board with my ideas
• Looping people in
• Collecting feedback

So, they try. They loop people in, update stakeholders and ask for feedback. But without a true understanding of why they are doing it, it feels hollow and performative. And when the feedback still comes—you need to collaborate more—it starts to feel maddening. For many people, this can even inspire resentment: Why can’t my work speak for itself? If I’m doing the right thing, why does it matter? 

Here’s the good news - what often feels like a vague leadership gap is actually a very specific—and learnable—skills gap, with a goal of shifting from ‘performative collaboration’ to "productive collaboration." 

So how do you break out of the loop? 

Here are 6 steps to highly-effective cross-collaboration:

1. Reframe what collaboration actually means. 

Cross-collaboration isn’t just looping people in. It’s about partnering across teams—early and meaningfully—to draw on diverse perspectives so you can reach the best outcome, more efficiently. It’s less about broadcasting what you’ve done and more about integrating others into the “how" from the start.

2. Identify the right stakeholders and be clear on why they matter.

Ask yourself who else needs to be involved, and why. Take the important step of documenting this. For example, if you're leading a product delivery, the marketing team needs to understand when and how to bring it to market. Starting with this clarity will make your outreach more purposeful and far more effective. Vet your list with others to make sure you haven’t left any team out.

3. Share your vision early.

Don’t wait until you’re deep into the work to bring people in. Early on, share your vision, mission, and approach. Then engage them—ask for their feedback. Taking the marketing example further, they’ve likely supported many product launches and may have insights on messaging that could even influence your product strategy. If you feel overwhelmed by the feedback, step back and recognize that your outcomes will only improve as you have clear things to react to.

4. Ask what they need to succeed.

You might assume people will speak up if they have something to add—but most won’t unless you ask. So be clear and ask what they need from you and to share potential obstacles. You’ll get a treasure trove of insight that can shape the direction and success of the whole effort.

5. Set a regular cadence to stay on course.

Start with individual check-ins if needed, then shift to a group setting for efficiency. Consistent structured touchpoints build trust, surface concerns, and create collective ownership. And remember to ask what you can do to help them move forward. 

6. Give credit generously.

Consistently acknowledge contributions—big or small. Shining a light on others lets people know you recognize their efforts and motivates them to stay engaged. 

Over time, when you apply these steps across multiple partners, you’ll not only gather richer insights that shape your work—you’ll build stronger support and shared ownership. You’ll also recognize that it’s not about consensus building, but rather it is about strategic influence.

One thing I’ve noticed: some people hold back from this level of collaboration because they fear they’ll lose credit or that they’ll disappear into the group effort. Remember, your role isn’t to come up with all the ideas. It’s to lead a successful outcome through collaboration. So when you exercise the skills outlined in these steps, you'll be recognized as the leader you are setting out to be.

• Elizebeth Varghese ('07), Deloitte Principal / Partner & Space Economy Acceleration Leader, will present The Carl Sagan Center Director's Award at the SETI Institute's 2025 Drake Awards. The Drake awards recognize groundbreaking discoveries and the brilliant minds driving the search for life beyond Earth. https://drakeawards.seti.org/
• Michelle Gaines '16 welcomed her second child Rory on Jan. 5. He was a little early but already 9lbs 1oz and thriving.
• Emily O'Halloran '07 recently joined the board of the Inspire Mexico Foundation. It provides a Youth Center in Los Cabos Mexico for kids and teens so they can access essential resources, educational support, and enriching activities.
• Yvonne Fung '18 welcomed daughter Cora on February 11. She arrived with a strong pair of lungs and a kick that will knock anyone out.
• Holly MacDonald '08, will become CEO of Bessemer Trust when the current CEO retires in early 2026. She is presently Chief Investment Officer at Bessemer.
• Jennifer Prosek '99, Founder and Managing Partner of Prosek Partners, has been named to Observer's 2025 PR Power List.
• Christine Alemany '04, was recognized as one of the 30 most influential Fintech Marketers by Fintech Marketing Hub. These influential Fintech Marketers were chosen based on their degree of influence and achievements over the past year, including ability to shape trends and inspire others.
• Aynat Ravin '01, was selected as one of the "Top 100 Women in the Technology Industry for 2024" by King Street Ventures (KSV). Advising start-ups as well as female founders is a personal passion of hers. 

Please share your achievements with us! Email [email protected] with “Shoutouts” in the subject line or post on our Women’s Circle LinkedIn Group

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